The struggle that takes place when two people believe their needs cannot be met simultaneously. When was the last time you were involved in a conflict?
The struggle that takes place when two people believe their needs cannot be met simultaneously. When was the last time you were involved in a conflict? There are many myths about conflict that we have been brought up believing including: Conflict must always be bad or hurt the relationship Conflict is the sign of an abnormal relationship Conflict should be resolved quickly All conflicts can be solved Where does conflict come from? It can happen anywhere at any time, but there are 5 sources of conflict we can find ourselves facing. Sources of conflict Perceptual Bias – When two people see the world differently. (i.e. the abortion debate). Interdependence – Comes from forgetting that your decisions affect someone else. (i.e. forgetting to call a friend on her birthday) Goals – Comes from each person wanting something different (i.e. I want to see a comedy; I want to see a drama) Resources – Comes from not agreeing on how to manage the finances (i.e. I want to buy a tv; I want to buy a vacuum) Outside Interference – Comes from a third party getting in the way of two other participants. (i.e. My mother-in-law comes to live with us) Even though conflict can come from anywhere, it can only do one of two things to your relationship. Either it will turn out to be: Constructive – Both participants leave the conflict feeling better about themselves and the relationship or Destructive – At least one person leaves the conflict feeling worse about themselves and the relationship. Obviously we want the constructive outcome, but how do we get there? Conflict Management Strategies Avoidance – Either physically or psychologically leaving the conflict. Can be constructive OR destructive. The person being left behind will feel worse, but sometimes it prevents a conflict from escalating. Competition – Results in one person “winning” the conflict and once person “losing”. Can be constructive OR destructive. The “loser” will often feel worse, but it can be done in a friendly way. Accommodation – One person gives in to the other and gets nothing in return. Can be constructive OR destructive. The person who gets nothing could feel worse, but it can be helpful if done in a balanced way or during minor conflicts. Compromise – Each person gives something up to get something in return. Can be constructive OR destructive. Helpful if done fairly, but can lead to buyer’s remorse where one person feels taken advantage of. Collaboration – Both participants work together to come up with a mutually agreeable outcome. can ONLY be constructive. So why don’t people do it? It takes longer Both people have to be willing to do it Both people must know how Techniques for Collaboration Avoid being dogmatic Watch your nonverbal signals Choose your verbal communication carefully Pick the context you collaborate in mindfully Use the listening skills learned in the previous module Assignment Conflict Essay Watch a 30 minute sitcom and analyze the type of conflict portrayed by the characters in a four paragraph essay. Your paper should then discuss the type(s) of conflict management strategies used by the characters (discussed in this module) to manage the problem using the terminology discussed in the lesson. NOTE: If you choose a sitcom with more than two characters, just choose one conflict between two people to help focus your paper. DO NOT just summarize the episode. Even if I have never seen the television show, I should still be able to follow your paper based on the terminology you use to label the conflict.
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